2024 went out with a bang

2024 was my year of yes. I decided to say yes despite my fears as long as I did not compromisemy morals/values. I also couldn't say yes to anything that would cause me harm. Most of the year turned out to be amazing. In October I decided I would finally go back to school and pursue my passion. I enrolled at Walden University in the Master of Social Work Program. I reconnected with people from my past. Overall, the year was shaping up to be one of the best years. I attributed much of it to deciding to say yes to more things. I also realized I was not afraid anymore.

I was already separated from my husband. Suddenly the other shoe was dropping with that as well. We were moving towards a divorce. That information came before I enrolled in school. Emotionally I was a mess at first. I haven't written about this topic much at all which I plan to because I am nothing if I am not completely transparent. I thought about postponing my enrollment in school. I was STRESSED. But GOD. I had an amazing enrollment advisor who spoke so much life into me. My biggest motivation for becoming a social worker is to be a positive support system for children. My daughter is someone who I support mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I needed to be an example for her. I was and am showing her that though life does not go according to our plan, there is always a way to rebound. I also wanted her to know that there is no time limit on dreams. At 35, I was a student again.

In my rebound, I was THRIVING. Well in my opinion I was. I was enrolled in school, working, "dating", having a social life and parenting. Was I stressed? Yes. School is no joke as a single mother, but my support system is unmatched. My mother, sisters, brother in-laws, and friends are amazing humans who show up for me and my little love. (She's going to be 11 and is my height. Nothing little about her.) I felt amazing. I kept saying "I don't know how I am doing this" but I did know how. It was God. My prayer during this time was for God to make me a vessel. Allow me to be more of you and less of me when I have my moments of weakness. 3 classes later and I still have a 4.0 GPA so apparently this prayer is working.

December 29th EVERYTHING changed. My mother suffered a stroke. That was not on my 2024 bingo card. My greatest fear was imagined. I could lose my mother. I have been blessed with an amazing mother-in-love. I am so grateful for the way she loves and embraces me as her child. After 15 years of someone being around, you get to the point of embracing them. (I am super lovable.) I had already lost my father, and I was not going to lose my mother. I was in such a low place that day and for a few days to follow. My bestie showed up for me. Then my friends, coworkers, family, and other people who just love my mother showed up. They supported me, my mother, and my entire family, as we navigated something so unbelievable.

2024 kicked my ass right up until the end. People around me lost loved ones. There started to be this feeling of this is the time we are in. We have these lives and believe we have time but we don't. We have to say all the things we don't say. Tell people you love them and mean it. I am so thankful to say my mother is still alive and healing daily. My mother-in-love came when I needed her. She grounded me in a way I didn't know I needed. 2025 is showing me how important it is to be vulnerable and to be honest about the space you are in. I am on break from school so I might post more than usual. My spirit guides let me know it was time to get back to writing. I considered getting rid of my site. In that moment, I heard "No you have too much to say". Let's see where things go from here.